Dear Friend,
"I don't think loving ones mother comes quite naturally." -Wives and Daughters
My mother and I didn't always have the best relationship. Truly, there were times I didn't think I loved her and that she couldn't love me. Yet, somewhere in between the lines of many years and careful conversations, I've come to love her as my mother and as my dear friend.
This semester at school, I've spent many hours working on a bedside table in my wood shop class. When I was almost finished, I realized I wanted to give it to my mom. I think that was my original idea, but it became much more of a concern when they told us we needed to laser a design on the top of the desk. I knew immediately to do dolphins jumping out of the water. As I looked through different options with my teacher, I learned I really wanted two dolphins. So, I looked till I found the right picture. Then we lasered it on. I sanded it within an inch of its life, then cautiously stained the whole desk except the lasered picture. Then I sprayed, sanded, finished, sanded and sprayed again. Finally, it was all ready to go. I carried it out to my car, covered it with a blanket in the back seat and off it went.
I left it hidden in the car for a few days then brought it inside and hid it in my sisters room with a huge blanket. On Christmas morning, I arrived home from a sleepover with my oldest sister, Saya. We did a little cleaning in our downstairs living room, then went through our stockings as we do each year. Before we opened the rest of our presents, we all went up stairs for a quick breakfast. As everyone started for the upstairs living room, I ordered them to all stay where they were. Mom was told to close her eyes and dad gave her a back rub to distract her. No one except Meg, the second oldest, had seen the table so far. As I carried it up the stairs, dad and Saya made various stunned comments. I set it in front of mom and she opened her eyes. Gasping, she stood and carefully looked over the table. Her eyes filled gently with tears and then she hugged me tightly. She whispered something in my ear I couldn't understand, but that's okay cause that hug said way more than she could've with words. I cried a little inside.
We all lined up, me first this year, and marched into the living room to take our places on the couch. Mom played Santa this year so she went about handing unlabeled packages to each of us. She'd memorized who got which gift it seemed. I received many heart felt gifts, each thoughtfully chosen and a deep expression of love. I didn't have any other gifts to give that day. I'd made everyone else something in my ceramics class. I've spent almost everyday of flex and after school in there working on the different projects. One is a mask for dad, the other is an abstract piece for Saya, and the other, well I'm not sure what it is for Meg. It's really cool though. But they weren't finished being fired and glazed so I told them their gifts were on their way. They seemed to be excited about the extended surprise. Maybe they were just trying to be nice. :)
We all stayed in the family room afterwards with our separate piles of goodies, among the ripped paper and gathered bows, and talked for several hours. I love that part of Christmas.
Nana and Cramp came by with a little present for each of us. They stayed for a while and Cramp praised Saya continuously about being so wonderful. I think that made her feel pretty good. I was happy to see her get so much credit for how hard she's been working in college and her three jobs. I'm not sure how she does it. I can't even get good grades in high school and I don't even have one job. Guess I'm just not as smart as she is.
When they left, I sat with Meg and mom for a bit talking again. Saya went home after a nap to shower and let her dog out. Then mom and I started on Christmas dinner. Meg went off to bed as soon as we started. Sometimes I wonder about her timing. ;)
Mom taught me how to make a bunch of different things. I loved it. We worked for hours on the goose. Then we set to work on a cold salad, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls (we bought those!), stuffing, veggies, and a punch. When everything else was ready, we pulled out the goose we'd been basting for eternity. Never again will I cook a goose. It wasn't even finished after three hours. Not even close! So we had dinner without a main course. Oh well right?
Dad made a really inconsiderate remark to mom. Here we sat at a table covered with food she'd spent hours on and he had the nerve to say something snarky. I was shocked. Mom didn't say anything. But when she looked at him, he knew what she thought of that. I think partly she was too tired to say anything and didn't want to ruin Christmas dinner. He knew he was in the wrong to say that. I think when he saw the exhausted expression on her face, he couldn't help but know. He didn't apologize though. My heart broke for mom. Everyday, I start to see more and more things she's given up for us and how hard she does try. I start to see what dad doesn't. I love dad. But I care for mom.
The goose ended up being a huge disappointment for mom and I. There was like, nooo meat on it. So lame. But, personally, I thought it was actually worth it. Even if it couldn't feed a family of like, 1, I got to spend a lot of time working with my mom. I loved every minute of it.
The older I get, the more I see and learn that you're born into a family. Then, if you're lucky like me, you become friends with each individual in your family. You spend one on one time with everyone and time as a group. The girls have nights, the parents have nights with each girl, the parents have night together, until you feel like everyone is your friend. Your buddy, your pal. You become tightly nit. And then, that's when you become a true family. Then your not just a bunch of people living together and you're no longer a bunch of good friends. You're a blood related, eternally sealed network of individuals working to create a happy family package. I don't know if anyone else is as lukcy as me, but I come as a package deal. My family goes where I go and I go where they go. You get one, you get us all. I'm not just saying that. It is that way. I see it and I'm a part of it. And I love it.
Thank you Christ. Thank you for coming to earth. Thank you for being born as a human like me. But Christmas wouldn't be Christmas if you left the baby in the manger. Thank you for dying for me, that I may live again with my family for time and all eternity. Forever. Thank you for taking upon you the punishment of my sins so that I can repent and change my heart throughout my life so that I can live with our Father in Heaven for time and all eternity. To any who read, and to all who don't, may the joy and true reason for the reason resound in your hearts everyday. May you wake with a love for each person and a desire to become a little more like Christ every hour. Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!
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